Parenting disagreements between spouses may seem trivial at the start, but it can lead to many problems in the later part of the marriage.
Parenting Disagreements between Spouses
One parent may feel that he or she is doing everything- homework, household chores, etc. This could lead to stress, frustration and quarrels.
Some parents may believe in using the cane and not sparing the rod, while other parents may believe in talking sense with their children and treating them as adults.
See: Melissa Tan, “I don’t believe in sparing the rod: Lina Ng”, Today Online, 12 August 2017
Indeed, I have seen many couples file for divorce in Singapore due to parenting disagreements. I recall seeing one lady a few years ago, who went for the “all-or-nothing” approach. She wanted sole custody, and sole care and control, and the right to make all decisions (big or small) on behalf of her children. After I informed her that it is unlikely that she would get sole custody of her children, though it is very likely that care and control will be given to her, she informed me that she would cede sole custody and sole care and control to her then husband. She told me that her marriage broke down as a result of parenting disagreements between spouses. She did not wish to quarrel any further with her ex over children’s matters after the divorce. Hence, she would want all decision-making rights, or none at all.
This is clearly an extreme case but it happens. Couples do get divorced because of children.
And of course, it is not healthy to extend quarrels post-divorce. In such cases, it is important to make appropriate arrangements on children’s matters after the divorce. There are many issues to be concerned about- who will decide on the children’s tuition classes, insurance schemes? Who will have the children on Chinese New Year or Deepavali?
If you are having disagreements with your spouse on parenting, talk to us today. Help is on the way.