How do you divorce-proof your marriage?
According to psychologist Alice H. Clark, it is important to have open discussions on difficult topics such as money, sex, personal space, children and upbringing of children early in the relationship.
- Many people get married with the hope that something will change about their partners. Having silent hopes can be destructive. Disclosing your hopes early may help foster the change.
- Money is the reason behind the breakdown of many marriages. It will be good to have some agreement on money management.
- Sexual frustration also leads to many divorces. The partner with higher libido may end up feeling let down by the other partner’s lack of interest and this may have wider consequences, such as infidelity.
- Everyone needs personal space. Discuss with your partner on how much space you need and how much time you need to spend apart from one another.
- Not everyone wants kids. Do you have the same values when it comes to conception or contraception?
- Parenting is a daily task and you need to work in tandem. If you have vastly different ideas on the upbringing of your children, your marriage may be affected.
See: Brittany Wong, “10 Big, Divorce-Proofing Talks To Have Before Getting Married”, Huff Post, 19 July 2017
With the increasing divorce rates in Singapore, it is difficult to divorce-proof your marriage. You should not just be talking to your partner before the marriage, but throughout the marriage.
It is impossible to maintain a marriage without communication. Let your spouse know about how you feel about things.
Try to make it work. If you can’t, speak to us.