How to Ask for a Divorce Peacefully?

Many of my clients find it difficult to tell their spouse that they want a divorce. The question is: how to ask for a divorce peacefully?

It is not an easy question to answer. Some people find it easy to ask for a divorce peacefully. Others do not dare to raise it up, for fear that their spouse will turn violent.

In a recent case that shocked many, 39-year-old Kristy Manzanares was allegedly murdered by her husband of 18 years, Kenneth Manzanares. The couple had 3 children and they were celebrating their wedding anniversary with their family on a week-long cruise.

At some point of their dinner on the material night, Kristy asked Kenneth for a divorce. Kenneth allegedly snapped and killed his wife.

Sources said that the couple never appeared to have marital issues.

On the night of the murder, Kristy’s family members broke down the cabin door after hearing Kristy’s screams. They discovered Kristy and Kenneth covered in blood.

Kenneth is detained, pending trial.

See: Harriet Sokmensuer, “Husband Allegedly ‘Snapped’ and Killed Wife on Alaska Cruise After She Asked for Divorce, Source Says”, People, 2 August 2017

How to ask for a divorce peacefully?

It is always good to have a word with your spouse before you bring up divorce. Help your spouse understand the reasons behind your request and approach it from a “problem-solving angle” rather than a “confrontational and blame-pinning” angle.

However, as many of my clients tell me, it is sometimes impossible to do so because of their spouse’s temper.

If you have concerns over your safety, it may be better for you to move out of the matrimonial home prior to getting your lawyer to effect service of the divorce papers on your spouse.

You may also wish to make an application for a personal protection order if safety is an issue.

Otherwise, if safety is not a concern, you may wish to get your lawyer to correspond directly with your spouse/ your spouse’s lawyer. This will minimize interaction and conflict between you and your spouse.

If you are still puzzled over how to ask for a divorce peacefully, talk to us today!

You may also be interested to read more about:

  1. Divorce and Separation
  2. Annulment (Nullity) of Marriage
  3. Children’s Issues
  4. Matrimonial Assets
  5. Maintenance Issues (Alimony)
  6. Family Violence


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