Should You Forgive Adultery? What are the Pros and Cons?

Are you one who will forgive adultery?

Rebecca Jane was pregnant with her child in 2006 when she caught her husband cheating on her. She said on live TV: “I could have got over the infidelity. It’s really difficult to get over heartache. It’s one of the most horrific feelings you can experience, but you get over it.”

According to research, 75% of marriages survive an affair. This is to say 75% of the subjects in the study forgave adultery.

Jane is now an investigator. She started when she got some friends to help her with the investigation work in her own case, and she caught her husband. 3 years later, she founded her agency- The Lady Detective Agency to help women find out what their husbands are doing behind their back.

According to Jane, a cheating spouse is likely to go to work early, come back late and spend more time on the phone, though no single factor is conclusive.

From Jane’s experience, “men often have affairs because temptation is put in front of them. For women they need emotional connection.”

Another woman, Marina Pearson, had affairs before she even got married to her ex-husband. She thought she wanted marriage but things did not turn out as she wished. Communication broke down and got worse. To her, “an affair is usually not the reason for marital breakdown.” When her husband found out about her affairs, he was really angry but the former couple ended up having the most meaning conversation they had.

Pearson has since started Divorce Shift to help women move on after divorce.

See: Naomi Greenaway, “Would YOU forgive adultery? As Sally Bercow admits to cheating, one betrayed woman reveals why infidelity shouldn’t end a marriage (and 75% of couples agree), MailOnline, 12 May 2015

Should you decide to forgive adultery, you should note that if you continue to live with your spouse for a period/ combined period of 6 months or more after the discovery of adultery, you will not be entitled to rely on your spouse’s adultery for the purpose of divorce in Singapore.

Contact us today to have a discussion on whether you should forgive adultery!

You may also be interested to read more about:

1. Divorce and Separation

2. Annulment (Nullity) of Marriage

3. Children’s Issues

4. Matrimonial Assets

5. Maintenance Issues (Alimony)

6. Family Violence


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