As a divorce lawyer in Singapore, many clients come to me asking about their chances of shared care and control Singapore. To answer this question on shared care and control Singapore, I frequently have to ask my clients how involved he/ she is in the life of the child.
Duties as a parent
Bryan Tan, the CEO of Dads for Life and the Centre for Fathering, recently wrote an article for Today which I find quite relevant for the discussion on shared care and control Singapore.
Tan had previously placed his eldest child, Michael, in enrichment classes to “create space for” himself on the weekends. One weekend, when he wanted to spend time with Michael, Michael decided to go for his class instead. That rejection hurt Tan. Following this incident, Tan admitted to himself that he was “outsourcing” his duties as a father.
He was also getting his children to join him in watching TV after work each day and not spend quality time with them.
Now, Tan tries to be present in his children’s lives and lessen the workload on his wife. They do not believe in outsourcing parental duties such as feeding their children to their maid.
Tan used to struggle with feeding Michael who would take a long time to each. Sometimes, Tan would resort to verbal threats to get Michael to eat faster. One evening, Tan observed that Michael savours every bit of his food, like himself! Nowadays, Tan reminds himself constantly to look at the world through his children’s eyes to understand their needs.
See: Bryan Tan, “Don’t outsource your ‘dad’ duties”, Today, 22 April 2017
Many of my clients do not realize that whether they get shared care and control Singapore or not depends on their involvement in their children’s lives. It is not simply being there physically. You need to understand the needs of your children and see the world through their eyes.
It is not simply about providing for them financially. It is about not outsourcing every parental duty to an outsider and being a real parent.
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