Many of my clients have asked me this question: is there anything wrong with dating while separated?
Robin Rinaldi did just that. She took a break off marriage for 1 year and made a pact with her husband. They even agreed that they could have sex with others during the 1 year-period.
Rinaldi wrote a book, The Wild Oats Project, to document what she learned during the open marriage period.
Rinaldi first had that idea of an open marriage after her husband got a vasectomy. He did not want to have children while she did.
Rinaldi and her husband agreed on 3 rules:
- No sex with mutual friends;
- No serious relationships; and
- No sex without condoms.
Both parties broke the rules on multiple occasions over the course of the marriage.
Many of Rinaldi’s friends supported her. However, some thought that her project was scary as she was giving up security and allowing her husband to do the same, all in the name of passion and adventure.
At the end of the project, Rinaldi and her husband divorced. She learned from the experience that she was giving her husband too much pressure. She realised that she was asking too much of her husband and she decided that she was not going to look for someone who could provide all that she needed. She also learned about sex.
See: Charlotte Alter and Diane Tsai,“Here’s What One Woman Learned From Taking a Year Off From Her Marriage”, Time Magazine, 1 April 2015
As a separation lawyer in Singapore, I have prepared numerous deeds of separation in Singapore and helped couples with their judicial separation in Singapore. One of the most common questions that my clients have is, does the law prohibit dating while separated?
It is common for us separation lawyers in Singapore to state in deeds of separation that parties may live as if they were not married to each other. Hence, parties are free to date while separated in such cases.
In cases where the separation is informal, parties run the risk of being accused of behaving unreasonably or committing adultery should they date while separated.
If you have concerns over dating while separated, please contact us.
You may also be interested to read more about:
2. Annulment (Nullity) of Marriage
5. Maintenance Issues (Alimony)
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